Dares came to visit me. It was not exactly out of the blue, but almost. I told her to meet me at the airport, and she did. Why did she trust I’d show up? I have no idea. Why wouldn’t I? We went to the beach with Lily, followed the rabbit through the thick pine forest and low scrub land, with its pretty flowers, to the strandslag. We lay in the sand, naked, hands between legs. I couldn’t tell where my body ended and hers started. Every time I shifted my weight, I felt the air, the sand, and everything around, move to accommodate me perfectly. She was a giver, I could tell, as she watched me. Lily teasingly accused me of drawing in all the attention, which I denied.
“I thought the worst while waiting for you at the airport,” She told me, laughing. “After all, I’d met you only once… in Berghain.” She was right I suppose, there had been so many ways this encounter could have gone wrong. But we got each other. She was from a different world, we were born continents apart, and she could barely speak a word of English when I met her, and yet… we understood each other, on some crazy, deep, transcendent level.
Lily pulled out her notebook, having decided to condense the beauty of existence and the meaning of life into words and pictures. It was futile. Under regular circumstances, it would be futile; in this particular instance, it was physically impossible. An elephant might as well have tried to copy Monet. In the clouds, a painting unfolded. I saw Lady Liberty mounting her horse, leading a heard of centaurs to victory. The day had lasted forever, and we felt an eternal sunset dawn upon us. The sky turned into water, and twilight cast a glow under my skin. Beneath the flesh on my thighs, I saw the Carina nebula writhing, shifting, glowing. It was magic.
As we meandered back home, we passed a square that had been around since the 1600. There was a barbecue going, and children played on the red brick streets. “It’s beautiful,” She told me. I had thought she would find the suburbia I lived in deathly boring, but nothing could be farther from the truth. “There’s nothing like this is São Paulo. I don’t ever want to go back.” For my part, I had never seen this area, and definitely not with the eyes I carried with me, at that moment in time.
We made love that evening, three of us. Dares asked if Lily and I had ever hooked up before. No, we hadn’t. We were both takers, me more so than her… perhaps. It would not work. Dares was different. It was something I felt noticeably. Her gender, how that affected the image she chose, naturally, to project. She was easy to like, and took it upon herself to make sure everyone else had a good time, because she always did, regardless.
Lily and I laughed about it after. “Remember when I took out the vibrator and she said, ‘ oh good… I can take a break?'”
As she fell asleep, she pulled my arm across her breasts and turned on her side, back towards me. Hah, I was the big spoon, for once. She felt adorable in my arms.
I’ve tried to find a place to put this memory, tried not to think about it fading away. As memories do. Even ones that seem so powerful at the time.